Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Transparency

I'm slowly trying to teach myself to be more transparent. With my feelings, my beliefs, my shortcomings, my desires. It's not an easy thing after training myself for 20+ years to bottle all these things up. So, here I am at the blogging stage. I think it's difficult to freely express yourself when you know other people can see it and read it and judge, but I really believe transparency is key to a life devoted to Christ. When we're not transparent then it's so easy to pretend (aka...lie) about who we are and where we are at in our walk with Christ and how our spiritual health is doing. So, that's where I'm at...trying to stop lying (I'm going to stopping using the word pretending, because I really think it's the same as lying but makes me feel not so bad as saying I'm lying) about where I am at. I fall short in so many areas. And yes, that's not unusual...we all do, but I get caught up comparing myself to others and thinking, "I'm not as bad as that." YES I AM!!!!! For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). I need to be more transparent in my life so that I can identify the areas I need to work on, to improve in, and I also need to be more transparent so I am able to better witness/evangelize. If I pretend (see, there I go again...I really mean lie), and make it look to others like I have everything together and have no struggles, then I'm really not doing a good job of being a witness of what the Christian life is really like. Because I do struggle, I do fall short, I do continue to sin... but God continues to forgive me and teach me and grow me through all of these things. So, here's to becoming more honest with myself and others about my spiritual health.